When Your Reflection Says, “She Has No Style,” but You Pose Anyway

A family friend once told me I had no style—to my face. Bold move, right? But hey, he tried to soften the blow first, like my mom saying, “Bless your heart,” right before licking her thumb to wipe chocolate off my face. Spoiler: I didn’t feel blessed when he followed it up with, “I love you like a daughter, so don’t take this personally.”

Before you start taking this personally the way I almost did, let me explain what he meant.

Heck, I didn’t know what he meant either. I was young and impressionable, and I wanted what every 20-something-year-old wants—to be cool.

Now that my oldest is that cool twenty-something I never got to be, it seems style skipped me again.

Somehow, I’m now a mom well past her prime, still looking like her ship has sailed.

But before you start feeling sorry for me, I might just turn this “no style” thing to my advantage.

I could give tips on how to have no style. Why not? Everyone’s handing out style tips. Do we really need more of those?

---

Having No Style (Without Kids)

Let’s be real: I didn’t need kids to teach me how to have no style—I had that skill nailed in my pre-mom years. Here are my top tips for cultivating a style-free existence:

1. Dress like a time traveler who got lost in the wrong decade.
Go to college in the South and wear whatever’s fashionable in Philly. Back then, nobody appreciated my black loafers and white socks except me—and possibly Michael Jackson (if he squinted).

2. Marry a man who couldn’t tell Chanel from Cheerios.
When your husband doesn’t care about makeup or clothes, you’re free to skip both. And really, if you’re not trying to impress him, who are you dressing for? (Spoiler: It’s not the kids. They’ll be mortified no matter what you wear.)

3. Become a hoarder—but make it fashion.
Minimalism? Never heard of her. Keep everything, because one day your “vintage” wardrobe will be cool. At least, that’s what I tell myself when my daughters raid my closet. They love my clothes—just not me in them.

4. Misinterpret social cues like a champ.
Don’t get invited to girls’ night out? No problem—invite yourself! I once left Alex at home and tagged along to the movies with two other couples. Turns out it was supposed to be a double date. Awkward? Sure. Stylish? Absolutely not.

5. Be a trend-skeptic until it’s way too late.
Remember when online shopping was new, and you thought it was a fad? Or when the first iPhone came out and you laughed at it while clutching your flip phone? Yeah, me too. Guess who isn’t trend-savvy—and still doesn’t get invited to girls’ night out?

---

Face It: Kids Won’t Give You Style

If you didn’t have style in your twenties, don’t expect to magically acquire it when you have kids. Sure, motherhood might make those Lifestyle bloggers look effortlessly cool, but for the rest of us? Motherhood sops the style right out.

---

Having No Style (After Kids)

1. Invest in questionable child-rearing accessories.
Buy a poodle backpack leash to walk your kid around the airport. (Do they even make those anymore? Maybe they were banned for being unfair to the animals.)

2. Treat your dog better than you treat yourself.
Splurge on a doggy stroller for your fur baby. Sure, Holly hurt her leg, but the Goodwill clerk still gave me a look that said, “Lady, even we have standards,” when I tried to donate it—tags still on.

3. Surrender to photo failings.
When your kids hit their teens, stylish family photos are a pipe dream. It’s either a lousy picture of you or no Christmas card that year. Guess which one we went with?

4. Fake it ‘til you almost make it.
Go to Sephora with your teenage daughters and pretend you know what a contour stick is. When the clerk offers help, just point vaguely at the girls and say, “Oh, I’m just here for moral support.”

---

The Bright Side of No Style

Lucky for me, style comes from within—or so I’d like to believe. Maybe I could go back in time and tell my dad’s friend a thing or two about that. But honestly, I’ve been rocking the no-style look for so long, why change now?

And don’t worry—one day, your teen will look at you in awe and say, “OMG, you got that blush? That’s from a famous TikToker. Can I borrow it?” And just like that, your heart will melt.

There’s hope for us styleless mamas, okay? We may not follow trends, but we make our own rules—and pray our kids don’t roll their eyes so hard they sprain something.

---

Your Turn!

What do you do to feel stylish again? Or maybe for the first time, if you’ve never had style? Or do you not care? Leave your comments below—I’d love to hear about it!

---

Suggested Posts

If you liked this one (not that these past muses had much style either, but it’s fun to look back on the style slip-ups):

Goodbye Mommyhood but Daddy is still Daddy

Mean Well–This Song’s For You (By You, Too)

Loss of Sense of Humor–Unmasking Another Covid Symptom

Life Bloopers & Some Belly Laughs

On Being A Doorstopper No More, Unless My Daughter Calls On Me!

Beyond The Greetings: Unwrapping The Heart of Hallmark Christmas Chick Flicks