Stephanie Ortiz- Mama’s Muse
Hello, I’m Mama – a muser, a storyteller, an explorer of life. I’ve been called many things: a writer, a homemaker, a cancer survivor, and a mother. But, at heart, I’m just someone who loves to find the humor in life, the silver linings in the cloudiest days, and the stories that make us who we are.
A Muse is Born
Life has a peculiar way of catching you off guard. One moment, you’re a college student studying journalism; the next, you’re a mom of two, trying to find your identity amidst the chaos of motherhood. And then…you’re hit with cancer. But I’ve learned that these unexpected twists and turns that shape us, mold us, and, ultimately, inspire us. After all, it was my own rollercoaster ride that birthed my muse.
Noodling Around with the Muse
In my early writing days, every muse ended with a question. Hard to believe, right? Even my piece on Kobe Bryant, a story that touched people before I fully grasped the power of storytelling, ended with a question mark.
Then, a friend pointed out the redundancy of ending with questions when my entire muse provoked thought. So I began penning longer, winding muses, much like my lengthy walks with our dog, Holly. I often wrote three muses in one, akin to a book chapter. Some readers suggested, “You’ve got to write a book.” Didn’t they realize I already was?
Cancer forced me to be concise. I set aside my series on basketball legends MJ and Dr. J (those unwritten posts are still tucked away) and began chronicling my health journey.
Once I had exhausted my experiences with cancer – literally, metaphorically, and physically – and barely had time to pull myself together, my eldest daughter left for college. The pain was palpable. But I wrote through those growing pains.
Now, I no longer search for the muse; the muse is everywhere for this Mama.
The “Pop” Sensation
Then came 2023. I met “Pop” Jones when he was 106 years old and knew him for the last year of his life. This encounter changed me, giving my writing new depth and perspective.
My passion for a compelling muse grew even stronger, as did my desire to delve deep into every story – whether mine or someone else’s. Today, I can confidently say that while I still don’t know what I’ll be when I grow up, I’ve discovered a new formula for what makes something muse-worthy: re-writing life with an amusing twist. Want to join me?
Top 5 Reasons You Know You’re A Muser
- You live to inspire and revive the good old days, merging the old with the new.
- You enjoy exploring life to connect with others.
- You believe life’s hardships only make you stronger.
- You love hearing about legends of love, family, and community.
- You strive to make conversations meaningful, taking us to charming places.
No matter how old our kids get, we mamas (and papas) always hold our families close to our hearts!
Bring On The Musers
Thankfully, this blog has united us – like-minded storytellers. We tell these stories to become torchbearers, helping others as we navigate through life’s highs and lows. We all need someone to muse with.
We are profound, provocative, motivating, inspirational, powerful in our own right, thought leaders, trailblazers, and brimming with love for humanity. All that love we have for our families must overflow somewhere.
Above all, we amuse one another.
Join me as we muse through life.
Love, Mama
Hello Stephanie,
I found your website today after a conversation this morning with a mutual friend, John Gabriel…I worked for the 76ers back in the 1980’s, so I know your Dad and had the pleasure of your Mom’s company during Sixer social events. The saying you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat those who aren’t in a position to help them, and your Dad was very good to me when there was no upside in it for him.
My life has been shaped by illness, both as a patient and a caregiver, and I’ve come to believe that pain is a gift and it is the price we pay when a person we love or profession we enjoy is taken from us. The Blessing of chronic illness is the constant reminder that tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone so I immerse myself in the people and projects that uplift and inspire me.
In 44 days I’ll have my 33rd surgery – the first serious operation without my wife Pattie who God rescued from her seven-year battle with “The Beast” (a malignant brain tumor). We were married for 15,131 days and my profound gratitude that God gifted me with a woman who loved me more than I loved myself, far outpaces my grief for what I lost 141 weeks ago.
Stephanie, I love your spirit and mindset, and I believe I’ll enjoy reading your past and future posts.
Warm regards,
Tim Malloy
Dear Tim, It’s so wonderful that through John Gabriel I now get to know you! How exciting that you have maintained your friendship—John had mentioned there were only 13 staff members from the 76ers at that time. Of course, those days were all about relationships, and now I’m honored and blessed to be able to continue the tradition!! My prayers pour out to you with the loss of your dear wife, and they continue to be with you especially for your upcoming operation. You say a great truth that suffering teaches us so much about the beauty of life and love—though sometimes it’s hard to appreciate that when you’re grieving. We’re family now! I’m here for you! Together we’ll keep the spirit!! Love and great hugs! Stephanie
Good afternoon, Stephanie, and thank you for your very radiant and empathetic reply. You have a loving spirit that is palpable.
I believe we all have three “families:”
* Family by blood
* Family by marriage
* Family by choice
My families by blood and marriage, and some of the family by choice that I see frequently, I do my best to nurture and make a positive contribution to the relationships. Those who I don’t see often, I hope to have left a favorable impression upon that time and distance won’t diminish the relationship.
Pattie’s passing and her funeral service on August 7-8 of 2021 brought out the best of all three families…Maya Angelou’s quote about people never forgetting how you made them feel, is very true. Whenever I run into a former coworker or classmate it is a bittersweet moment because they’re reminded of what they loved about Pattie and what they dearly miss.
Stephanie, I’m a firm believer in providence over coincidence; but not as a contrived coping mechanism to manage my grief. I tell family and friends that I am, “heartbroken, but happy.” I laugh; I date; I’m busy with work projects, but I’m heartbroken at the loss of familiarity with a loving partner.
But in some ways my ‘marriage’ is stronger today because I’m in awe of who Pattie was and that she picked me as her partner. I do ‘feel’ her sometimes saying to me after a long conversation with a friend, “my goodness, you can’t stop kissing my a** can you? Where was this talk the last 43 years 🙂 🙂
With a belief in providence that is born out of faith which Blesses us with the gift of awareness, I embrace the quote, “The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware; joyously and Divinely aware.”
So the divine dominoes of life that cascaded into John telling me about you; me making a decision to contact you; and you radiantly replying, has begun our connection…And with a mindset of gratitude, I’m grateful for the connection.
My best you and your family…
Tim
You make my heart sing!! And so we are family by choice thanks to John Gabriel!! Here’s a funny story about that name! My Dad accidentally changed his contact information to read “John Gabriel.” We don’t know how he did it but suddenly it would ask us, “Would you like to update John Gabriel’s new contact information?” We have to break the news to Dad that apparently he’s changed his name. And then I happened to mention John Gabriel’s name to my daughter (after interviewing him for my last muse) and she said, “Who is this John Gabriel? I keep hearing his name!” Yes, John Gabriel is a household name over here!! He’s a dear man — and I’m just as grateful that he’s connected me to you!!
Those are kind words and high praise from a positively charged woman…Thank you, Stephanie…
Consider for a moment all of the technology gymnastics that inadvertently took place to change the name of a contact unknowingly – and for it to be John. 🙂
I have a couple of good stories about John that I’ll share with you in the coming weeks, but today I want to share a story about a similar misidentified phone contact that happened to me.
In our medical journeys together, Pattie and I have received many Blessings that have convinced me that our special moments are more providence than coincidence.
This coming June 19th it will be exactly 10 years since I sent my first text message to a small group of family and friends to share with them the news that Pattie’s persistent headaches were the result of a golf ball-sized tumor pressing on her brain stem.
And in the days and years that followed and continues to this day, the list of people I text has grown to more than 300, sent in singles, pairs, and bundled in small groups about Pattie’s seven-year joyously sad journey and the 32 months of the same joyful and sad experiences.
The message below was sent on 5/19/21…Curiously, this coming May 29th is the date of my spinal cord surgery.
“In 2017 I ‘pocket dialed’ a FaceTime call to a friend in my phone directory, and moments later I received a text from the friend who asked, “Who is this?”
I identified myself with a somewhat smart–ass remark, and the “friend” replied, “This isn’t Bill!”
I realized I had the wrong number loaded in my directory and I apologized. I told the person I’ll delete the number.
The “not Bill” stranger answered, “How is your wife? My prayer group has been praying for her.”
Then it hit me – the stranger had been receiving every text message update on Pattie since I started sending them in 2014.
I learned the new friend’s first name is Maria and she lives in Cherry Hill, NJ. And for the last four years (2017-2021) we have been praying for each other’s families and friends.
From these bits of personal information, I created a mental picture of Maria as this sweet, older Italian woman.
And last night (5/28/21) Pattie and I welcomed Maria into our home and I learned I’m no profiler. Maria’s parents were born in Puerto Rico and she was raised in Camden, NJ. She graduated from Woodrow Wilson HS and spent her 18th birthday in Navy boot camp and Maria traveled the world serving our country.
Maria’s husband is Chris and they have a wonderful family.
Providence over coincidence.”
Stephanie, to this day I trade texts with Maria, and we pray for each other…The Blessings of a misidentified phone contact…
Stay well and lets stay in touch.
Tim
That is the most incredible story I think I’ve ever heard. Talk about the power of strangers. I’m so touched!!
Thank you, Stephanie…
As I mentioned in my last message I have nearly 10 years of joyously sad experiences – with these last three years being open to feeling Pattie’s presence – that I have shared with a growing list of family and friends.
The message below I sent out two weeks after Patties passed (8/3/21), and it involves our dear friend, John Gabriel.
Quite often, people will respond to my texts with comments sharing their amazement at the event. One such reply came from Pattie’s primary care physician, Dr. Tamara Fisicaro, who was the one who sat across from Pattie and me (6/18/14) and broke the news that the source of Pattie’s persistent headaches was a golf ball-sized tumor pressing on her brain stem.
Stephanie, I have criteria for a potential moment of Divine Awareness:
It surprises me.
It makes me smile.
It makes me tear up.
It gives me peace.
If a moment checks all four boxes, I embrace it as a spiritual moment.
What do you think?
Tim
8/16/21 – Bring Light Into The World
“There are some who bring a light so great to the world, that even after they have gone the light remains.”
*****
As I’ve said many times, I’m a believer in providence over coincidence and the signs that we’re all seeing and feeling are real and are not rationalizing stretches of our imaginations.
And here’s another:
When it became apparent the beast was going to get what it came for seven years ago, I started to tell myself that Pattie wasn’t dying. Rather she was taking a special work assignment for the county that would have Pattie stationed at one of our two most favorite places – the Four Seasons hotel on the beach in Maui.
This mental exercise made me proud of her, and happy for her.
So a longtime friend, John Gabriel, from my 76ers days was in Las Vegas for the NBA summer league and he was unable to attend Pattie’s service.
John did check in on Mary (*our daughter Mary Frances lives in Las Vegas) when she returned home and asked if he could fly into Philly and visit with me instead of going directly home to Orlando.
I agreed and John booked me a room for tonight at the hotel he’s staying at, – The Four Seasons in Philly.
Pattie is keeping me close.
(*below is one of the comments I received on my “Four Season” text)
Dr. Tamara Fisicaro: Oh Tim, I agree, that’s a beautiful street sign.
I think of you both a lot, and I pray that your faith is strengthened for the task of doing your own work here while Pattie does hers in Heaven.
Maybe this is another sign for you? I happen to be in Maui right now for the first time. I haven’t seen the Four Seasons Resort yet, but now I’ll be on the lookout for a sign to bring to you.
**********
Oh, dear Tim, You are a beautiful, wise soul! You give inspiration — The Four Seasons (how symbolic of the four seasons of the year and the four seasons of our temporal life.) But you have connected with the most powerful revelation of all — your love for Pattie is eternal!! There’s no beginning and end for your love for her! And the love of your family and your friends has helped you move mountains. Somehow you understand truths, if only we all could feel, too!!! 💜
Kind words from a very loving spirit. Thank you, Stephanie…
Below is my other inspiring story from “Gabe.”
I put all of these encounters – or as Bill Hart calls them, “shoulder taps from God” in a coffee table-type book for our kids (Mayhew and Mary Frances); Pattie’s four sisters, and a few friends of Pattie’s.
I left in a few replies from friends (* Cyndy; Sue; and Gina) led to a follow-up “Shoulder Tap” text the following day (11/15/21).
Stephanie, I believe our faith is rewarded with the gift of Divine Awareness.
Sincerely,
Tim
*************
11/14/21 – Shoulder Taps from God
“Everything we do and everyone we meet is put in our path for a purpose.
There are no accidents; we’re all teachers.”
– Marla Gibbs
******
Good morning Ladies,
I’ve mentioned before that I’m a firm believer in providence over coincidence, and
I want to share a story with you that is as comforting to me as it is reaffirming.
A great friend and former 76er coworker, John Gabriel, had a conversation at a
wedding with a man named Bill Hart.
Bill is a life coach and author and he encouraged John to be mindful of “shoulder
tap” moments that can occur at any time in our life.
Bill shared with John that he was in a restaurant one day having lunch with his
wife and observed an elderly woman sitting not far away, neatly dressed and had
a warm radiant smile as she interacted with who Bill assumed was her
daughter and grandchildren.
At that time Bill said, “A voice in my head told me you need to go tell her how
pretty she looks.”
The thought left him as quickly as it came, and Bill and his wife ordered their food
and finished their meal.
As they passed by the woman’s table, Bill stopped and crouched down so that he
was at eye level with the woman and he said, “Hey, if nobody else has told you
yet today, I just want you to hear from me how lovely you are.”
The woman was startled, but smiled and said, “I know you.”
Bill smiled back and said, “No, we don’t know each other.”
The woman replied, “I know your spirit.”
There was an awkward silence and the woman said, “My husband died a year
ago, and that is something he would have said to me.”
Bill was taken aback, wiped away a few tears, and gave the woman a tender hug
before leaving.
John said that Bill called the moment a “shoulder tap from God,” and that we
need to listen and act on these “taps” to align us more with God.
I think coincidence yields to providence when we act on divinely placed instincts.
Take care for now and have a great week.
CYNDY: That one warms my heart ❤️
SUE: Good morning and thank you, Tim! I now know I have been tapped many
times. What a comforting thought to start the day with ❤
**********
11/15/21 – Shoulder Taps – Part 2
This group always feels and acts on God’s shoulder taps…
There is an interesting postscript to Bill’s Hart’s story that I read online.
Bill posted his beautiful encounter on Facebook and it received a staggering
20 million views!
This led to Bill and the woman, Miss Florine Evans, reuniting five months later at
the same California Pizza Kitchen restaurant.
Interestingly, Miss Evans had previously written a book with some very brief
observations about life.
The book is titled, Round By Round: In Search of Wisdom, and is available on
Amazon.
GINA: Crying as I read that heartwarming reminder to listen to our shoulder taps!!
Xoxo
I now consider myself shoulder tapped by you and all these Divine moments!! We truly are never alone. We have so much love and support, sometimes in the midst of our heartache we can’t feel the weightless tap on our shoulder! Brilliant that you have made these connections!! 💕
Thank you, Stephanie…
I believe that our faith is rewarded and strengthened with Blessings of Divine Awareness. They are not delusionary episodes or contrived coping mechanisms – they’re earthly moments that somehow our attention is drawn to.
They say that everything in life is either a gift or a lesson. I think our connection is delivering both.
I’m a spectator on Facebook – not a participant – but I did send you a friend request.
I’m mindful to try not to fall down any social media rabbit holes; but when I do it’s spending too much time reading or watching inspirational stories; or posts on business/leadership development (or Seinfeld or The Office bloopers! 🙂 )
Have a great week!
Now we’re friends on Facebook!! I look forward to our friendship to come!! 🎁
Good afternoon Stephanie,
As I mentioned earlier, I’m not a contributor to Facebook, but as we journey together, I’ll keep sharing my texts on your blog.
Also, here is my cell phone number if you want to text or call me: (856) 534-8054.
Below I’ve shared another possible providence over coincidence moment that occurred to me on Saturday, April 6th
I tried to paste a picture into the blog post, but it wouldn’t respond. A couple of my text messages include pictures to tie the moment together, so perhaps at some point I could email or text you the message.
Until then, here is what occurred to me after Saturday evening Catholic Mass. And I sent this text on Sunday, April 7th:
Stephanie, where you see (* ) in the post below, I added that information for your clarification.
Let me know your thoughts.
Tim
****************************
The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware; joyously…and divinely aware.”
– Henry Miller
*****
Hello Donna,
Yesterday I visited with friends in the church vestibule after the 5:00 Mass and I had a moment that was either very coincidental or perhaps a gift of Divine awareness.
As I left church, the crowded parking lot was now almost empty, and I noticed a wet stain underneath my car. I was trying to determine if I had parked over a puddle or a hose leaked, when a couple approached me.
The man touched the area and said it was water. When I asked if he was sure (to me, the liquid felt slippery) the woman chimed in, “Bob, is retired auto mechanic. He’s sure.”
I thanked Bob and his wife, and I got in my car.
I didn’t leave right away and while answering a text message, the woman tapped on my window and she said, “I feel I’m supposed to give you this…” and she handed me the wooden cross pictured above (* a wooden cross 1.5” high x 1” wide)
The window tap, and the cross, surprised me, but I thanked her and shared that I was having a serious operation next month. To which she replied that a year ago this week she had surgery to remove a malignant brain tumor that had spread to her lungs, and today she is fine. (* Pattie passed away from a malignant brain tumor on 8/3/21.)
The woman asked for my name, and I told her. And when I asked for hers, she replied that her name was, Angel.
Now Angel could have heard my froggy voice and noticed my distinct smile 🙂 (* I have paralyzed vocal cord and a right-side facial paralysis) and determined on her own that I was a guy who could use a few prayers. 🙂
But this woman acted on a spiritual instinct; and I received with a joyous and Divine awareness, a Blessing from an Angel.
Love,
Tim