Dads With Daughters, Little Women Trumps Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

Drawing courtesy of my daughter

It’s 2020, it’s all about reflections or resolutions. And what we deal with personally is just magnified at the movies. So here it goes.

“Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker is the ultimate reflection movie as it’s the culmination of the series while “Little Women” is all about Jo’s resolution to get her voice heard.

But Dads, you seem to be more into reflections these days. The dark side is winning out.

The ball dropped Tuesday and “Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker” took the number one spot over “Little Women”. Check it out from Brent Lang in Variety, he’ll tell you more about it at http://‘Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker’ Tops New Year’s Eve Box Office.

If we stripped away the box office figures and the fact that we are comparing the end of a series with a one and done movie, let’s face it, the soft side outranks the dark side, especially if you’re a Dad with girl(s). You have an inherent soft side.

Since I’m one for debate, I knew a war was brewing even before I read Kristy Eldrege in The New York Times write that men are receiving “Little Women” poorly. http://Men Are Dismissing ‘Little Women.’ What a Surprise. It sparked 1,390 comments last time I checked, so a lot of people are up for debating this. But fathers, have you made your choice?

Before you do, let’s debunk that big looming concern that “Little Women” is for chicks. Of course it is, but you’ve got chick(s) in the house, right?

Star Wars may have taught you all you needed to know about the dark force, but did it do anything to prepare you for the light force in your life–your daughter(s)?

And in harmony with the chick flick stereotype, you’re probably ready to stand by the Resistance and say that “Star Wars” is action-packed. Yes, I never had a chance to breath there was so much action. But more actually happens in “Little Women” that will keep you riveted and moved than in “Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker”.

Frankly, if you’ve seen one “Star Wars” in the series, you’ve already (cough) seen this one, too.

But what if you live, breath and quote the force? You know who you are, when May 4th rolls around you’re texting your buddies saying, “May the fourth be with you”.

You know what’s in your heart: “Star Wars” connects you to your manliness. I don’t have to break your illision, but I’m going to anyway.

The “Star Wars” genre is considered a space opera (Things can’t get more girly than that!).

You’re warming up to the idea, but then, you never read the book. Why would you have? For the record, I read it and didn’t even like it. The book didn’t stop me from appreciating the movie, and neither should it matter to you.

And if you’re still not convinced? Get over yourself, these movies aren’t as different as you have pegged them to be.

Here are the top reasons if you liked “Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker” you will like “Little Women”. SPOILER ALERT if you read past this point (not that it matters, as everyone knows what happens in both movies anyway. But it’s fun to say, anyhow).

1.) Both are set in other worlds. You’ll still be taken away, it might not be to “A Galaxy Far, Far Away” but it will be to the 1860s. (And for millennials, that’s a long, long time ago).

2.) The accents in either movie will fool you. In “Star Wars”, Rey keeps her English accent. She remains true to her earthly heritage, but in outer space, really? No one else came from her “British” planet. But in “Little Women”, the foreign actresses (two British, an Irish, and an Australian) have American accents so real you could watch the entire movie just trying to catch them with the wrong accent.

3.) It’s all fun/war and games until somebody gets hurt/dies. Yes, the heroine in both movies has a deep seated love that must die. For “Little Women” it’s Beth and for the “Star Wars” finale, it’s Ben. (Funny how both those names start with “Be”).

If I haven’t won you over by now, there’s no hope left. (cute, right?) You’ve chosen the dark side, and I can’t help persuade you to be a softee, not even for your daughter(s).

Let’s just wait for the spoof where the chicks won’t have to trump the guys or vice versa. Just imagine the world it could be: The Wars of The Little Star Women.

And if the guy/chick flick war rages on in your household, go see “Frozen II”, at least the kids seem to like it.

A Muse 4 Dads: if you weren’t so busy reflecting on “Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker” being the end of the series, and you could only pick one of these movies to see, which one would it be?

A Muse 4 Moms: have your husbands resolved themselves, yet, to see “Little Women”?

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Goodbye Mommyhood but Daddy is still Daddy

photo courtesy of John Gray

Goodbye Mommy. Goodbye Daddy (somehow he still gets to be called Daddy. For the record, that’s so not fair). Goodbye little kids.

Leaving behind all that made life cute: the days of make believe and unicorns, cool crafts, matching outfits (that I bought. I had good taste back then), oh, those photo opps, Disney princesses, dare I go on, and on? Now the road that is set before me is the truth of my parenting mistakes, school projects, the girls must go shopping with me, or else, they wouldn’t be caught dead in anything I pick out (and btw, all those matching outfits were so ugly). Oh, and now every photo that we take ends with, “Let me see that. No. You’re not using that. Oh my gosh, we’re deleting that.” Thank goodness there’s community theater. Our days of dress up are not over yet!

But I’m just fooling myself if I believe that this is going to keep on going. There’s a death here. Our family unit isn’t want it used to be. And given time, that too, will change. Although somehow Daddy will always get to be Daddy. My Mom called my Grandpa that until he died, and still, she refers to him with that special badge of honor.

But I’m digressing. No one prepared me for this. There was just such magic when the kids were younger, they were our constant source of entertainment, pleasure and concern. I really did believe we could live in our bubble forever. And I was so busy that there wasn’t anyone to argue with me.

And I wasn’t stupid enough to actually beleive those parents of tweens and teens who tried to scare us with the tales of how things would change. It seemed blaspehmous to hear that the kids wouldn’t bother to talk in the car rides. It seemed there would never be a day I’d ask “how was your day?” or that I could say “Good morning” and I’d be talking to myself. (I have learned to make the most of these conversations).

There was no way I was going to even think about all that was going to befall my daughters in order for them to have to grow up.

Making this switch was not for the faint of heart and it didn’t happen overnight. I can still find myself falling into old patterns of behavior based on memories. For me, 15 years seems like no time at all, so it really wasn’t that long ago that my first daughter was born. We had that introduction and we could see into one another’s soul.

I remember the relationship I had with both of my daughters and how it morphed into new realities with time. There was a time she could do nothing for herself. Either one of them, for that matter.

So now I empty the dishwasher, even though it’s their job. I have to catch myself when my oldest says she wants to be in a play and I go into research mode and look up when auditions are, when the play would be and then I look up every conflict we would have that would prevent her from being able to do it. (And then my youngest, who’s so used to the drill, she just goes and does everything herself before I even ask). I want to do these things, but Daddy, note the sarcasm in my use of this word, who’s so much wiser than I am on this (he’s not going through these growing pains the way I am), he tells me not to do for them.

But it’s more than a habit. I want to do everything I can for her, and secretly, the big secret of it all, it’s because I don’t want to do for myself. Every step I give my daughter that she may take towards her independence reminds me of every step I must take towards my own.

Nothing like Elton John at times like this. Suddenly, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road is getting tossed about in my head. So if you need a station break. Here he is.

But Estefania (my alter stage persona) is here to nudge me to stop focusing on what I’m losing and to start paying attention to the road that lies ahead. FUN, remember? We had a club we used to go to in college called WFUN. So we just need a kick of that in our lives right?

But instead of leaving this on that cheery note, maybe we do need to take a pause. While we still have Elton buzzing around in our heads, maybe this is something to muse about.

A Muse 4 You: Are you feeling you’re at a crossroads in your life? Is there something or someone you’re having a hard time letting go of?

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