Mom always loved the rain. As a kid, her Dad would open the garage, and the two of them would sit and watch it rain. She did the same thing as an adult (well, not in the garage).

Sometimes she’d even go outside and walk around the driveway and pick weeds. So she had a sixth sense when it came to catching rainbows. The sky would get that eerie glow, and we’d hear Mom yell, “Girls come quick. There’s a rainbow.”

So we’d run outside to the cul-de-sac (it was the only place we ever saw rainbows) and watch it until it faded or we got tired of standing in the rain.

I bring this up because last Thursday Mom and I saw rainbows within 45 minutes of each other, though we were a thousand miles apart.

It just goes to show no matter where you and I are, we are united forever.

And in light of Mother’s Day I’m reminded of last year when the girls gifted me with a concert of original songs featuring my all-time favorite, United Forever.

How could you not gush over a song that your daughters wrote for you? Skylar wrote the lyrics by reading all of my original blog posts. (Not for the faint of heart since I didn’t know how to call it quits back then.)

They wound up publishing it on their YouTube channel for my birthday in September ( a few weeks before chemo started). So the sentimental value factor to this song has exponentially increased with time.

Or at least it would have, but I had such a solitary fight going on, I almost forgot.

Quite a trip down memory lane

Some stories never change

So caught up in the worries

But that’s just part of the game

UNited forever – Zana & Sky

I got called out of the game when I got cancer. I had to sit on the sidelines. All I wanted was to play again. I wanted to know how long I’d be out. I calculated, “You think the whole thing will be about seven months tops? And then I can go back to my life. Is there any way we can hurry this thing along?”

That’s how Dad got when he had his first injury. He would have played with a broken arm if the doctor would only have let him.

You have to dare to be great

But I find out year’s late

No matter where you live

Home is where the heart is

United forever – zana & Sky

It’s not like we wake up and suddenly we’re parents. We have to leave home and find our way.

As soon as Skylar was steady on her feet, she’d walk away. I remember the moms in our Mommy group say, “Don’t run after her. She’ll look back.”

But she never did. She’d have kept on going if I’d let her. It drove me crazy. I hated it. I wanted to scream after her, “Forgetting something?”

But at two years old, she was fully aware of what took me a lifetime to understand. She had nothing to worry about because I had her back.

Oh, mother, we all stand together

Our hearts are united forever

Thank you again and again

Cause we all won in the end

In light and tribute to your love and support, thank you.

united forever – zana & sky

Even when Skylar didn’t have the words yet, she didn’t have enough life behind her to look back on and understand a mother’s job–to hold you, to let you go, to catch you.

It was such an easy thing to do when they were little.

This grew to be a magical place

Thrill of heart racing before the chase

Each item held a story

Let the sun shine on their glory

united forever – zana & Sky

But when they’re teenagers, itching to leave the nest, and we want to scratch their backs so they’ll stay a little longer. Hold on to the toys they once played with because it immortalizes them. “You can’t make the greatest years of their life be their childhood.” A voice tells me it is so even though I want the sun to continue to shine on the glory days.

How did my Mom ever let us go?

But it won’t be until my daughters have kids of their own that they’ll understand how hard it is to let go and not have your kid look back.

I tried to re-envision the past to form the future

Grateful for the chance to shape our reality together

One last muse for you, in the name of love

I just want to take time to thank you for all you’ve done

united forever – zana & sky

And so, I battled cancer without Mom and Dad by my side. They had to let me go. I couldn’t be worried about them when I had to fight for my life. It was a difficult conversation to have and even harder for Mom and Dad to hear.

When my hard-core treatment was over, and I had my operation, Mom couldn’t take it anymore. She came home to visit me. She just wanted to hold me again. I get that. She’s my Mom, and I’m her daughter.

She came, and I showed her off to my chemo doctor soon after discovering I was cancer-free. In his odd way, he gave a speech, which made it seem like I had gotten the medal of honor (or at least The No-bell prize.)

She got to meet my breast surgeon and see my surgical site and see how good I look. It’s not as scary as we expected it to be.

But most importantly, she got to do what mothers want to do more than anything–to hold their baby again.

Never look back; it’s true. But sometimes I have to.

How else would I know to:

• look for rainbows.
• thank you for teaching me how to be a great Mom.
• remember the best Mother’s Day gift of all–We’re United Forever.