Driving with my daughters from Pennsylvania to Nashville after Christmas break got me thinking. You know how road trips are. We passed through lots of slow downs, and many playlists, five states and drove through sunny skies, heavy rain, and fog, and somehow the car made it to the music city.

Now ask me how I fared. Not as well.

I couldn’t help but get nostalgic. Wonder how I did as a parent.

Sometimes the obvious pops up like a road sign to let you know you crossed the border to a new state. Mainly, I thought I was their teacher.

Now that they’re old enough, I know better. They were here all along to teach me.

They paid lip service to anything Alex and I said but insanely close attention to everything we did or didn’t do.

In the middle of all the chaos of parenting, when we’re running from school to activities to events and barely keeping it together, let alone putting dinner on the table, we’re supposed to be role models, too?

Apparently, yes.

If only I could redo the clock. I wouldn’t be so tired, and I’d be more of a role model. (Not sure I’m even there yet!)

I’m curious about how many other ways I failed to live up to the person I wanted to show them I could be.

But I want to fall back on a list of what I failed to teach them, instead.

Please let me share my list with you, so it’s not a total waste.

What I Failed To Teach My Daughter’s:

• Don’t lose yourself in anyone. Stay true to yourself. As my friend always says, “Do you!” (If only I listened to Alex when he said not to do everything for the girls.)

• Please yourself, and everyone else will fall into place. (Haha! That’s a good one.)

• Don’t minimize what you’re going through, but no need to be a drama queen, either. (Who’s calling anyone a drama queen?)

• Listen, especially when you’re arguing over everybody and screaming, “I am listening.” Most definitely, you’re not listening. (Now, that is not me!)

• Don’t dismiss your parents as mere child’s play now that you’re all grown up. We held the torch steady as you took your steps, shining the light so you could see where you were going. (You know I had to say this.)

• Be grateful every day, and more importantly, make sure you show your gratitude. (I was too busy to be thankful, let alone to express it.)

• Live every day like it’s your first and live large. (If only I could do that now?)

• You can have as much fun with your family as you can with your friends. (Remember how much fun we used to have together?)

• Love and forgive. Forgive and love. When you get hurt in love, brush yourself off and love and forgive some more. (Yup. That one wasn’t happening either.)

• The biggest mistake you can make is not to make one. (Hasn’t anyone heard of perfectionism around here?)

I want to jump in with my list. (Strongly encourage the girls to memorize it!) Make all that is wrong about life okay. Put that bandaid on and kiss their boo-boo. Protect them from their falls.

But their falls are much more significant now, and I’m scared of heights.

And, the truth? They won’t have any of that, anyway.

The girls have taught Alex and me what parenting’s about. Our job’s not to tell them how to live their lives; it’s to show them how we live ours.

When we got to Tennessee, the windshield wipers couldn’t clear the rain fast enough, the fog set in, and the roads were slick. No matter my wishes, I couldn’t make the sunny skies come back. We had to ride out the storm.

The truce? I can’t give my daughters words to wish their storms away, but even better, I can be their great teacher by showing them how I navigate my deluges.