Cancer Musings · Zana & Sky

Joyriding Through Cancer & A Kaleidoscope First Year

Joyriding with Ringo (Skylar’s new car)

Sometimes life piles it on so thick you wonder how you’re still standing. At times like that, I need to remember to sit down, put the top down, and enjoy the colorful ride instead.

It’s been so hard. I even missed my blog the week before last, and I was about to miss it again this week, and I was letting the pity party set in, but the girls got in my head.

They’ve been celebrating the first anniversary of their YouTube channel. As a precursor, last week they sang “Yesterday” by John Lennon (confession: Beetles/Beatles have been on our minds lately).

First Anniversary – Part I

One day, I played a loop of the girl’s songs for Dad to get his mind off of his pain. Not expecting a reaction, I was surprised when he said afterward, “It’s amazing. They’ve gotten so much better since they started.”

Quite an accomplishment! Not that the girls felt like celebrating.

This week, the girls came home from work Saturday, tired. They didn’t want to post anything. And here I was (the one who wants to give up more than anyone) telling them, “You have to post–it’s your anniversary special, do it, just like you had planned.” So they found it in them to re-record “Kaleidoscope” (the first song they ever posted) and include a video montage from the entire year.

First Anniversary – Part II

You know something, if they can keep up with their creative impulses, even when they don’t feel like going on, so can I. So instead of worrying about my operation come Tuesday and the 6-week recovery (here we go again!) and complaining because my joyride through cancer feels more like taking a ride through a fright house, I’m writing to remind myself of my first-anniversary milestone.

So from here on out, August 10, 2020 BC (before cancer) marks the day my OBGYN found my tumor at my one-year check-up. And now, August 10, 2021 AD (after death) marks the end of my body as I once knew it. And to prove just what I’ve been through this past year, come Tuesday I’ll have my shiny new fake breasts and oof!, my oophorectomy (no more tubes and ovaries).

Weird how a year can creep up on you–the good and bad can meld together like a kaleidoscope. Most of the time, it’s filled me with such dread, and I’ve tried to write it off. While the girls have sung through whatever we’ve been through and helped make me forget the ugly parts.

Luckily we now have Ringo the Beetle to remind us no matter what the view, we’ve got to keep on driving (and it’s way more joyful with the top down).

14 thoughts on “Joyriding Through Cancer & A Kaleidoscope First Year

  1. You wrote Thank You at the end. Pete and I Thank You for sharing your family with us. The girls are exceptional, so beautiful and talented. Stephanie we will be thinking about you on Tuesday and look forward to seeing you soon. Love Jan

  2. Sending you big hugs and prayers for successful surgery Tuesday, Steph! You are Superwoman–filled with love and perseverance and positivity! Thanks for sharing your girls’ videos. Precious daughters! Love to you!!!

    1. It’s so wonderful to hear from you—the memories bring on a huge smile!! You’re such a thoughtful and loving friend. Love and great hugs back at you!! xoxo

  3. Delighted to learn doing well and have a good future ahead for you. You and your family are very brave. Thanks for sharing your story. Look forward to seeing you all in person when it is safe.

  4. You are so inspirational and strong! You’ve got this! Your posts are always a ray light! Tomorrow I’ll sending out big huge thoughts for you & your family ! Xoxo
    Gillian

  5. Your strength and overwhelming love still amazes me everyday my love!
    We’re there for YOU ALWAYS. MOM

  6. You’ve got this Steph! All will be great and the joyride home in Skylar’s car with the top down will be heavenly! God speed! I love you❤️

  7. Steph! Stephanie!
    You are the light for so many. You brought two amazingly talented girls into this world and showed them how to share this talent and Grace!
    You have this!
    Uncle Billy has this!
    Wishing you both speedy recoveries!
    ❣️💗🙏
    Tori

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