When people know you had a bilateral mastectomy, they look. It’s as impulsive as blinking. Next time I see you, and you instinctively can’t help but…Oh no, I promise I won’t rub it in and say, “Made you peek.”
It’s impossible not to, no matter your manners, upbringing, whether you like slapstick humor or are too classy for that.
Unless, of course, you don’t know what I’m talking about (can’t put minus one and minus one together), or you forget–just don’t barrel in for that hug.
Oh, no. Hands up in fighting mode real quick.
You may wonder why I’m so sure about this. I worked at Comedy Central. Remember? Back when they were still in the red, trying to make ends meet. My boss started the news show, and that’s how we came to cover the Bobbit vs. Bobbitt trial in January 1994.
There was nothing to do as we weren’t allowed inside the courtroom anyway, so we stood outside in the cold with the other reporters; basically, reporters were interviewing one another out of sheer boredom.
To warm-up, we went into a deli. I took a sip out of my hot chocolate, and my boss turned to me and said, “Don’t look now, but it’s Bobbitt.”
So, of course, I looked, and if my eyes didn’t go right for the…
Bam! You see what I mean. Reattached and sewn back together again, he had nothing for me to see. Even still, without a crude bone in my body, I couldn’t help myself. I looked.
We all do it, even the best of us, yes, even me.
Even a nurse (who has boobs and doesn’t have cancer or any need to decide if she’d have reconstruction or not) told me hypothetically she’d go flat–and only after SHE LOOKED.
See what I mean? No one can help but look–even the nurse who’d go flat.
Not that I’m trying to defend myself for my decision to have reconstruction (okay, now maybe I am). But if people are going to peek anyway, they might as well have something to look at.
And if I bump into you drinking a hot chocolate and you accidentally…oh no. “Made you look” It’s okay. You’ll take a peek, just like I did, and remember Bobbitt. Better to leave the rest to the imagination,
They sewed his you-know-what back on….made you look!!!!lolol
It’s an all-time-classic-made-you-look story (too bad it was for real)!! xoxo
you are hysterical!
I couldn’t make this stuff up!! Love and hugs!!
Dear Steph…your refreshing imagination is therapeutic for all!! Keep them coming!
If only my imagination could be as great as my crazy life experiences!! I’ll take whatever I can get, though!! Sending love and hugs!! xoxo
Lol!! You are hilarious Stephanie! I was a member of the bell choir at my church and one of the ladies in our group had a little party after one of the masses we played in. There was a beautiful portrait of her hanging in her living room. I complimented her beauty and she looked over and said, in her Irish accent, oh tat was back when I had my real boobs. What? I asked, shaking my head. She went on to tell me how she had breast cancer and had a boob job afterward. Wow, I said, and I looked and told her, wow they look great! She said, yes tay do and tay are much perkier too lol!!
I’m always a sucker for any story that involves an accent!! I might have to start speaking like tat!! Tanks for sharing!! Love and hugs dear Dinah!!